


three's not a crowd for us

by crypticgemini



Series: you have (1) new notification [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Bisexual Female Character, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexual Michelle Jones, Bisexual Peter Parker, Friendship, Humor, Light Angst, Multi, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Not Canon Compliant, Pining, Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Queer Ned Leeds, Queer Themes, Slice of Life, Tags May Change, Texting, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Michelle Jones, Trans Peter Parker, peter does a lot of shitposting, teenagers being teenagers, text fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-02-16 11:26:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18690547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crypticgemini/pseuds/crypticgemini
Summary: parkour: i wish reeses puffs tasted as good during the day as they do at 3 in the morningCodeNed: I wish I could eat reeses puffsMagpie: I wish you two would shut the fuck up and sleep.-Peter, MJ, and Ned have a group chat and text each other on the regular. These are some of their chat logs.(Part of a series. Reading "swing on over" is not required, but it's recommended so that you can understand more of the fic.)





	1. rats and mario kart

**Author's Note:**

> hey y'all i'm back with more of that sweet sweet shitposty content
> 
> you know how "swing on over" didn't have a plot?
> 
> yeah, well, this one does...
> 
> strap on in because i'm bad at writing and i steal 15% of my jokes from texts on pinterest LETS GO

**_Two Idiots and MJ_ **

**Saturday 12:56 PM**

 

**Magpie:** This is going to be a disaster.

 

**Magpie:** I shouldn’t have made this group chat.

  
  


**NedLeeds:** Cmon!!! This will be so cool!!!

  
  


**parkour:** yeah!!!!! 

  
  


**Magpie:** Oh my god, I forgot you both use way too many exclamation points. This much excitement is unnecessary. 

  
  


**NedLeeds:** Its totally necessary!!!

 

**NedLeeds:** Wait you guys have super cool nicknames and I want one too

  
  


**_NedLeeds changed NedLeeds’s nickname to CodeNed_ **

  
  


**CodeNed:** Get it?? Like the mountain dew flavour??

  
  


**Magpie:** Oh no.

 

**Magpie:** This was a mistake.

  
  


**parkour:** no this was GLORIOUS

 

**parkour:** ned that pun is so bad i LOVE it

  
  


**Magpie:** I don’t.

  
  


**parkour:** but his name is so memeable!

  
  


**CodeNed:** Ned Dead Redemption

 

**CodeNed:** Left 4 Ned

 

**CodeNed:** Little Ned Riding Hood

  
  


**parkour:** NED BATH & BEYOND

  
  


**CodeNed:** OH MY GOD

  
  


**Magpie:** Why am I friends with you two?

  
  


**CodeNed:** Because you love us!!!!!!

  
  


**parkour:** ^^^^

  
  


**Magpie:** I hate you guys so much.

  
  


**CodeNed:** Meanie

  
  
  
  


**Saturday 1:13 PM**

 

**parkour:** okay ive eaten my daily dosage of oatmeal and im on my way over to beat both of your asses at mario kart

  
  


**Magpie:** Not going to happen. Ned always wins.

  
  


**CodeNed:** I SHALL FOREVER REMAIN THE KART KING

  
  


**Magpie:** Okay, buddy.

**Magpie:** I’m on my way over as well. It’s like… a 5 minute walk but I bet Peter will still beat me because I just SAW HIM SWING PAST MY FUCKING WINDOW.

  
  


**parkour:** Ned, please open your bedroom window. I’ll be there in a minute.

  
  


**CodeNed:** Doing that now!!!

  
  


**Magpie:** Wait, did he just use punctuation?

  
  


**CodeNed:** He gets Karen to send his texts if hes not able to use his phone

  
  


**Magpie:** Oh, that makes more sense.

  
  


**parkour:** Ned, I found a friend!

  
  


**CodeNed:** What

  
  


**Magpie:** What? What’s happening?

  
  


**CodeNed:** MJ HE FOUND A RAT

 

**CodeNed:** HE BROUGHT IT WITH HIM

 

**CodeNed:** HES MAKING ME HOLD THE RAT WHILE HE GETS OUT OF HIS SUIT

  
  


**Magpie:** PETER BENJAMIN PARKER WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK?

  
  


**parkour:** i had to stop to help someone with something and the little guy came over and sniffed my foot!!!

 

**parkour:** he ran up my leg and his face is SO cute mj his nose does a wiggly thing

  
  


**Magpie:** You live in New York! Half of our population are rats!

  
  


**parkour:** but this ones so cute!!

 

**parkour:** neds making me put ratthew back because he doesnt want him loose in the apartment

  
  


**Magpie:** I agree with Ned.

 

**Magpie:** ...Ratthew?

  
  


**parkour:** rat is short for ratthew

  
  


**Magpie:** Is this a stroke? Am I having a stroke? Is this what a stroke feels like?

 

**Magpie:** Ned, I’m coming up the stairs. Is your door unlocked?

  
  


**CodeNed:** Yeah!! Come in!! Peter just swung back out the window with Ratthew but he looked really sad about it

  
  


**Magpie:** WELL HE SHOULDN’T HAVE PICKED UP THE RAT IN THE FIRST PLACE!

  
  


**parkour:** I DIDNT!!!!! HE CLIMBED UP MY LEG!!!!!

  
  


**CodeNed:** I just wanted to play Mario Kart and this is what happens

  
  
  


**Saturday 6:33 PM**

 

**parkour:** when will we ever win against ned

  
  


**CodeNed:** Never!!!! My reign continues on!!!

  
  


**parkour:** you malevolent ruler

  
  
  


**Saturday 6:57 PM**

 

**Magpie:** Peter, you didn’t say you were going to go on patrol.

  
  


**_parkour has attached a file:_ ** [ **_youre not my mom.mp4_ ** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBWpzvJGTz4)

  
  


**Magpie:** I will allow this because I love that vine. But once again... 

  
  


**CodeNed:** You're on thin ice Parker

  
  


**Magpie:** Close, Ned. Proud of you, though.

 

**Magpie:** You’re on thin FUCKING ice, Parker.

  
  


**_parkour has attached a file:_ ** [ **_hhhhhhhhhh.png_ ** ](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/df/2f/55/df2f55ed59f6f41a89184a8cb195ab3d.jpg)

  
  


**Magpie:** How many pictures do you have saved under some variation of “hhhhh?”

  
  


**parkour:** too many to count

 

**parkour:** i lied i have 56 theyre in a folder

  
  


**Magpie:** Stop.

  
  
  
  


**Saturday 7:44 PM**

 

**parkour:** my spotify playlist is goin extra hard today

  
  


**Magpie:** There's a joke here somewhere.

 

**Magpie:** I will not stoop low enough to point it out.

  
  


**CodeNed:** Lol it's extra hard

  
  


**Magpie:** There it is.

  
  


**parkour:** you guys suck

 

**parkour:** my playlist rocks more and more every time i listen to it

 

**parkour:** mr. brightside will always be a fucking BOP

 

**parkour:** also?? AJR??? every song they produce is a banger and i will refuse to hear otherwise

  
  


**Magpie:** They sound familiar.

  
  


**parkour:** i recommended netflix trip to you once

 

**parkour:** thats one of their songs

  
  


**Magpie:** Oh, them.

 

**Magpie:** They’re okay.

  
  


**parkour:** ok never mind this playlist is not fit to be listened to while on patrol

 

**parkour:** forgot some of these songs had weird moods in them

 

**parkour:** and you cant help a dog find his owner when youre listening to twin sized mattress by the front bottoms

  
  


**Magpie:** You could if you weren’t a coward.

  
  


**parkour:** im sorry??????????

  
  
  
  


**Sunday 3:08 AM**

 

**parkour:** i wish reeses puffs tasted as good during the day as they do at 3 in the morning

  
  


**CodeNed:** I wish I could eat reeses puffs

  
  


**Magpie:** I wish you two would shut the fuck up and sleep.

  
  


**parkour:** let me talk about my peanut butter cereal or ill stab you please

  
  


**CodeNed:** You can tell hes tired because he asked to stab you politely

  
  


**Magpie:** This is what you sound like right now, Peter.

  
  


**_Magpie has attached a file:_ ** [ **_Peter Himself.png_ ** ](https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2018-10/10/11/asset/buzzfeed-prod-web-03/sub-buzz-3508-1539186383-9.jpg?downsize=800:*&output-format=auto&output-quality=auto)

  
  


**parkour:** i want to be angry but i just lifted my spoon to my mouth and forgot to open my mouth

  
  


**Magpie:** Honey.

  
  


**CodeNed:** Dude.

  
  


**parkour:** a theif stole my ability to smart

  
  


**CodeNed:** A thief?

  
  


**parkour:** a theif

  
  


**Magpie:** It's “I” before “E.”

 

**Magpie:** Except after “C.”

  
  


**parkour:** thceif

  
  


**Magpie:** No.

  
  


**CodeNed:** No

  
  


**parkour:** home of phobia

  
  


**Magpie:** Don’t pull the homophobia card, you sleepy bastard.

  
  


**parkour:** im gonna sleep

 

**parkour:** y bastard

 

**parkour:** goodnight guys loev you

  
  


**CodeNed:** Loev you too!!

  
  


**Magpie:** You got this years “loev you” two days ago. 

 

**Magpie:** Goodnight, dumbass.

  
  
  


**_MichelleJones > NedLeeds_ **

**Sunday 3:22 AM**

 

**MichelleJones:** So, why are you still awake?

  
  


**NedLeeds:** Parents are fighting again

 

**NedLeeds:** Mom stayed at work super late again without letting Dad know so he was freaking out until she came home

 

**NedLeeds:** They’re yelling and I just gave up on trying to sleep until they're done

 

**NedLeeds:** Why are you awake

  
  


**MichelleJones:** Peter’s text woke me up, but I also drank a coffee before bed and the caffeine kicked in while I was asleep.

 

**MichelleJones:** So, now I’m wide awake and it really sucks.

  
  


**NedLeeds:** You have a caffeine addiction

  
  


**MichelleJones:** No, duh, Leeds.

 

**MichelleJones:** I’m setting up my room on rabb.it. We’re watching The Office until one of us falls asleep.

  
  


**NedLeeds:** From the beginning?

  
  


**MichelleJones:** Is there any other way?

  
  


**NedLeeds:** Good point

 

**NedLeeds:** Joining now

  
  


**MichelleJones:** Alright.

  
  
  


**_Two Idiots and MJ_ **

**Sunday 11:43 AM**

 

**parkour:** whats poppin

  
  


**Magpie:** Don’t ever say that again.

 

**Magpie:** I only just woke up 20 minutes ago because my mom yelled at me to wake me up.

  
  


**parkour:** omg but you never sleep in

 

**parkour:** youre like… the queen of early risers

 

**parkour:** the healthiest of us all

  
  


**Magpie:** Coffee shouldn’t be drunk before bed, no matter how good it tastes.

 

**Magpie:** I know this now. I have learned my lesson. Never again.

  
  


**parkour:** ahhhh ok

 

**parkour:** i legit woke up 2 minutes ago

  
  


**Magpie:** Sounds about right, yeah.

 

**Magpie:** And the first thing you did was text us?

  
  


**parkour:** ya??? what else am i gonna do its a sunday and you guys are my friends

 

**parkour:** i havent even gotten out of bed yet someone yell at me to get up

  
  


**CodeNed:** GET UP!!!!!!!!

  
  


**parkour:** oh wow okay jesus fine im getting up wow

  
  


**Magpie:** He… didn’t even yell at you.... he just typed like he usually does…

  
  


**parkour:** its scary

 

**parkour:** ned once put wet nerf bullets in the freezer and then shot me with them

 

**parkour:** that shit HURTED

  
  


**Magpie:** Can we get an f in the Fortnite lobby?

 

**Magpie:** Also, I don’t know if I’m proud or concerned.

  
  


**CodeNed:** Peter you were the one who put them in the freezer

 

**CodeNed:** I just took them out and used them

  
  


**parkour:** yea!! on me!!

  
  


**Magpie:** You guys were really weird kids.

  
  


**CodeNed:** This was last month

  
  


**Magpie:** I should’ve expected that one.

  
  
  


**_NedLeeds > MichelleJones_ **

**Sunday 1:27 PM**

 

**NedLeeds:** You left your journal here yesterday

 

**NedLeeds:** I didn't realize until now

 

**NedLeeds:** It is yours yeah? You left it by the beanbag chair

  
  


**MichelleJones:** Fuck.

 

**MichelleJones:** If I see that you’ve even so much as touched a page in that book I will make the rest of your life a living hell, Leeds.

  
  


**NedLeeds:** You left your pen in between the pages and it opened when I picked it up

 

**NedLeeds:** I’m sorry

 

**NedLeeds:** Were you ever going to tell us?

  
  


**MichelleJones:** I don’t want to fucking talk about it Leeds.

 

**MichelleJones:** Tomorrow, you will look me in the goddamn eyes and hand me that book back. You will not speak a single word about this to anyone. You got that?

  
  


**NedLeeds:** MJ

 

**NedLeeds:** Me too

  
  
  


**Sunday 2:09 PM**

 

**MichelleJones:** We’ll talk about this another day. I can’t do this right now. Don’t look in my journal again.

  
  


**NedLeeds:** I didn’t mean to anyways I’m sorry

  
  


**MichelleJones:** It’s okay. Just hand it back to me tomorrow morning and don’t tell Peter.

  
  


**NedLeeds:** Ok

  
  
  
****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *eyes emoji*


	2. therapy and kitty snuggles

**_Two Idiots and MJ_ **

**Sunday 11:48 PM**

 

**parkour:** im back early from my spidery escapades and im trying to decide which oatmeal i want

 

**parkour:** guys should i eat cinnamon apple or maple and brown sugar

  
  


**Magpie:** Why must you text me for these things?

  
  


**CodeNed:** Cinnamon apple obviously

 

**CodeNed:** Always pick cinnamon apple

  
  


**parkour:** thank you for the input ned

 

**parkour:** thank you for the disinterest mj

  
  


**Magpie:** Hey, you knew what you were getting into when you kept hanging around me.

  
  


**CodeNed:** Werent you the one who kept hanging around us

  
  


**Magpie:** Shut your damn mouth, Leeds.

  
  


**CodeNed:** Ok

  
  


**parkour:** hey guys i put rice krispies cereal into my oatmeal can i get a YEEHAW

 

**parkour:** extra food

 

**parkour:** im gonna munch………. im gonna crunch……….

  
  


**Magpie:** I can’t believe how often you have me saying this, but, what in the whole fuck, Parker?

  
  


**parkour:** as opposed to a half fuck

  
  


**Magpie:** Yes, Peter. As opposed to a half fuck.

 

**Magpie:** What an astute observation. Truly inspiring.

  
  


**parkour:** this is mean

 

**parkour:** im being cyberbullied and i dont like it

 

**parkour:** ive listened to school assemblies about just this and they warned me about this

 

**parkour:** i never thought the cyber bully would be one of my own best friends

  
  


**Magpie:** First of all, 

 

**Magpie:** “Can I get a yeehaw?” You DESERVE to be cyberbullied.

 

**Magpie:** Secondly,

 

**Magpie:** I’m going to go to bed. Goodnight.

  
  


**parkour:** goodnight

 

**parkour:** sleep tight

 

**parkour:** @CodeNed

  
  


**CodeNed:** Don't let the ned bugs bite

  
  


**parkour:** YES WE DID IT

  
  


**_Magpie has attached a file:_ ** [ **_This house is a FUCKING nightmare.mp4_ ** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJHRCv5P4hc)

  
  
  


**_PeterParker > NedLeeds_ **

**Monday 2:11 AM**

 

**PeterParker:** some of the enemies in mario confuse and frighten me

 

**PeterParker:** dry bones and dry bowser

 

**PeterParker:** when i die will i become dry peter

  
  


**NedLeeds:** IS LIVING BOWSER

 

**NedLeeds:** WET BOWSER

  
  


**PeterParker:** NO!!!!!!!!!!

 

**PeterParker:** IM SERIOUS THOUGH THIS IS INCREDIBLY TROUBLING TO ME RIGHT NOW

  
  


**_PeterParker has attached a file:_ ** [ **_WHY DO PIRANHA PLANT HAVE BONE IN IT.png_ ** ](https://66.media.tumblr.com/e125b7ebacc7dfb954b00de5e84ec7cd/tumblr_p7i7vkl5Je1x908lio1_250.png)

  
  


**NedLeeds:** PLEASE PETER GO TO SLEEP I CANT DEAL WITH THAT AT 2 IN THE MORNING

 

**PeterParker:** FINE GOODNIGHT IM LOV U

  
  
  


**Monday 2:23 AM**

 

**PeterParker:** im gonna assume that you fell asleep and thats why you didnt say “im lov u” back like always

  
  
  


**_NedLeeds > MichelleJones_ **

**Monday 8:10 AM**

 

**NedLeeds:** I’m at your locker

  
  


**MichelleJones:** On my way.

  
  
  


**_Two Idiots and MJ_ **

**Monday 11:59 AM**

 

**parkour:** i wanna take a nap sleepy victims unit

  
  


**Magpie:** Fucking… what?

  
  


**_CodeNed has attached a file:_ ** [ **_svu.png_ ** ](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/c5/42/c6/c542c6e51d1fa32fed3b70c61b72d286.jpg)

  
  


**Magpie:** You had that ready and sent way too quickly.

  
  


**CodeNed:** He texts it to me every three seconds

 

**CodeNed:** I keep it in a separate folder so I can find it fast

  
  


**Magpie:** Yeah, that sounds about right.

  
  


**parkour:** cyberbullying

 

**parkour:** can someone let me nap on them after i eat please and thank you

  
  


**Magpie:** Fine.

  
  


**CodeNed:** Yea man

  
  


**parkour:** oh shit i have to choose

 

**parkour:** this is harder than picking a kanto starter

 

**parkour:** thats a lie anyone who doesnt pick bulbasaur can catch these fucking hands

  
  


**Magpie:** If either of us finishes their lunch before the other then we’re free to use as a human pillow, I guess?

  
  


**CodeNed:** Thats fair

  
  


**parkour:** hell yes hell yes hell yes im on my way to the caf now by the way

 

**parkour:** i made a good looking sandwich and im excited for it

  
  
  


**_NedLeeds > MichelleJones_ **

**Monday 12:56 PM**

 

**_NedLeeds has attached a file: omg.png_ **

  
  


**NedLeeds:** I don't know how I didn't see it before

 

**NedLeeds:** Also I know he hates it when I say this

 

**NedLeeds:** But why does Peter look like a PUPPY

  
  


**MichelleJones:** What the fuck does he put in his hair to make it that fluffy? Where the hell can I find it? I will pay so much money for it?

 

**MichelleJones:** I mean, I’ll pay up to $20 for it because any higher is just highway robbery at that point.

 

**MichelleJones:** Delete that picture.

  
  


**NedLeeds:** … can I have $5 to delete it

  
  


**MichelleJones:** Boy, if you don’t delete that picture now you’re gonna be wishing you had paid for life insurance.

  
  


**NedLeeds:** Oh crap never mind

  
  
  


**_Two Idiots and MJ_ **

**Monday 7:32 PM**

 

**Magpie:** I bought a plant.

 

**Magpie:** Bandit doesn’t like it very much.

  
  


**parkour:** THE BABEY HAS SPOKEN

 

**parkour:** YOU MUST REMOVE THE PLANT FROM HIS PRESENCE AT ONCE

  
  


**Magpie:** Bandit is five years old and if he can’t handle a damn plant then I’m concerned about the future evolution of cats.

  
  


**parkour:** RESPECT HIS WISHES

 

**parkour:** also i have my first therapy appointment tomorrow morning

 

**parkour:** so i get to skip the first half of school

  
  


**Magpie:** You hate missing school, though?

  
  


**parkour:** i hate missing school for stupid reasons

 

**parkour:** mr. stark made this appointment therefore it isnt stupid

  
  


**Magpie:** Technically, I got you that appointment.

  
  


**parkour:** oh yeah

 

**parkour:** by threatening him

 

**parkour:** i think hes scared of you btw

  
  


**Magpie:** Good.

  
  


**parkour:** i get out of the appointment at 10:30 so mays gonna take me out for lunch afterwards

 

**parkour:** im excited for it because we havent eaten out in a while

 

**parkour:** shes been really busy at work the past couple of weeks and i miss her

  
  


**Magpie:** At least you get to spend time with her tomorrow.

 

**Magpie:** And make sure to take notes and send them to me for my WWAMD? (What Would Aunt May Do?) Book of Gospel.

  
  


**parkour:** it gets funnier every single time you mention it

  
  


**CodeNed:** I have no idea whats going on

  
  


**parkour:** may makes good decisions

 

**parkour:** we dont

  
  


**Magpie:** Speak for your fucking self, Parker. I make great decisions.

 

**Magpie:** Thanks to my WWAMD? (What Would Aunt May Do?) Book of Gospel.

 

**Magpie:** Purchase it at your local indie bookstore.

  
  


**parkour:** must you advertise my aunts headspace

  
  


**Magpie:** It’s brilliant and deserves to be recognized as such.

  
  


**CodeNed:** Shes right

 

**CodeNed:** May is dopediddyope man

  
  


**parkour:** you got me there

  
  


**Magpie:** Why the hell do you sound like Ned Flanders?

  
  


**CodeNed:** Hi diddly ho neighbourino

  
  


**Magpie:** I will filet you like a fucking fish.

  
  


**parkour:** hi im terrified what does that mean

  
  


**CodeNed:** I dont know and I dont want to find out

  
  
  


**Tuesday 8:14 AM**

 

**parkour:** roughly 15 minutes before i have to spill my guts to a stranger lmao yeet

  
  


**Magpie:** You’ll be fine.

  
  


**parkour:** what if they think my problems are stupid and they just tell me to man up

  
  


**Magpie:** Then I’ll kick them in the ass and get their psychology license revoked? 

 

**Magpie:** No therapist would ever say something like that to their patient.

 

**Magpie:** Plus, Stark chose this therapist for you specifically. Trust his judgement.

  
  


**parkour:** yeah

 

**parkour:** thanks mj

  
  


**Magpie:** Whatever.

  
  


**CodeNed:** I ALMOST DIDNT MAKE IT

 

**CodeNed:** HAVE FUN IN THERAPY PETER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  
  


**parkour:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  
  


**CodeNed:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  
  


**Magpie:** I’m out. 

  
  
  


**_MichelleJones > NedLeeds_ **

**Tuesday 2:43 PM**

 

**MichelleJones:** Has Peter shown up yet?

  
  


**NedLeeds:** No

 

**NedLeeds:** Im kinda concerned

  
  
  


**_NedLeeds > PeterParker_ **

**Tuesday 2:45 PM**

 

**NedLeeds:** Dude are you alive

  
  


**PeterParker:** debatable

  
  


**NedLeeds:** ??????????

 

**NedLeeds:** That doesnt sound good man

  
  


**PeterParker:** im out of school for the day instead of just the first half

  
  


**NedLeeds:** Why? What happened

  
  


**PeterParker:** ben was brought up during the appointment

 

**PeterParker:** i thought i was gonna be talking about spider-man stuff and only spider-man stuff but then she asked about my guardians

 

**PeterParker:** and shit just came pouring out and i dont want to talk about it anymore

  
  


**NedLeeds:** Im here when you want to

  
  


**PeterParker:** i know man

 

**PeterParker:** thanks

  
  


**NedLeeds:** Anytime bro

  
  
  


**_NedLeeds > MichelleJones_ **

**Tuesday 2:53 PM**

 

**NedLeeds:** Hes okay

 

**NedLeeds:** He talked about his uncle in therapy so hes not mentally up for school right now

  
  


**MichelleJones:** Oh, yeah, that’ll do it I suppose.

  
  
  


**_PeterParker > MichelleJones_ **

**Tuesday 3:23 PM**

 

**PeterParker:** can i come over and smurgle your cat

 

**PeterParker:** im stresst the fuck out and i wanna shove my face into bandits fluff

  
  


**MichelleJones:** I’m not home yet, and I know you can get there before me but give me 15 minutes and then you can swing over.

 

**MichelleJones:** Also? Please never say “smurgle” again because I didn’t know it was a word until now and I absolutely hate it.

  
  


**PeterParker:** still cant believe you named your cat after a cat from neko atsume

 

**PeterParker:** i love him so much

  
  


**MichelleJones:** They look identical!

  
  


**PeterParker:** they DO and i LOVE HIM michelle

 

**PeterParker:** i might steal your cat

  
  


**MichelleJones:** Over my dead body.

  
  
  


**Tuesday 3:54 PM**

 

**MichelleJones:** Okay, you can come and shove your face into Bandit’s fluff now.

  
  


**PeterParker:** swinging around at the speed of sound got places to go gotta follow my rainbow

  
  


**MichelleJones:** You just lost all Bandit privileges.

  
  


**PeterParker:** D’:

  
  
  


**_Two Idiots and MJ_ **

**Tuesday 5:33 PM**

 

**_parkour has attached a file: an angel and me.png_ **

  
  


**parkour:** i love this cat more than anyone in the entire world

 

**parkour:** i would gladly lay down my life for bandit

  
  


**CodeNed:** Bandit: “You will”

  
  


**parkour:** still worth it

  
  


**_parkour has renamed “Two Idiots and MJ” to “bandit support triangle”_ **

  
  


**parkour:** i love cats

  
  


**Magpie:** Always thought you were more of a dog person.

 

**Magpie:** You’ve got that energy to you.

  
  


**parkour:** all animals are queens

 

**parkour:** PETA, thinking its helping: IF IT BREATHES ITS A THOT

  
  


**Magpie:** Oh shit, hot takes from Parker over here.

 

**Magpie:** PETA found dead in Miami, I guess.

  
  


**CodeNed** : Good riddance

 

**CodeNed:** I think? I don’t follow this kinda stuff

  
  


**Magpie:** Yes, good riddance.

 

**Magpie:** Also, this is going to bother me so I have to change it.

  
  


**_Magpie has renamed “bandit support triangle” to “Bandit Support Triangle”_ **

  
  


**parkour:** homophobia at its finest here tonight ladies and gents and those well dressed

  
  


**Magpie:** Ignoring the homophobia comment, that is genuinely a cool way to make that phrase gender inclusive and I’m very proud of you.

  
  


**parkour:** thank you i came up with it just now

 

**parkour:** my brain did the smarts

 

**parkour:** i absorbed some of bandits smarts

 

**parkour:** hes so smart hes such a smart kitty im gonna steal him

  
  


**CodeNed:** STEAL HIM

  
  


**Magpie:** YOU CANNOT STEAL MY CAT.

  
  


**parkour:** i mean technically i can

  
  


**Magpie:** YOU MAY NOT STEAL MY CAT.

  
  


**parkour:** i wasnt asking for permission

  
  


**Magpie:** I WILL CALL THE COPS IF YOU STEAL MY CAT.

  
  


**parkour:** you really gonna call the blue uniforms? you? michelle “i hate cops” jones?

  
  


**Magpie:** I WILL CALL STARK IF YOU STEAL MY CAT.

  
  


**parkour:** shit damn ok i wont steal bandit

  
  


**CodeNed:** This was a wild ride and I don’t know what else to say

  
  
  


**_MichelleJones > NedLeeds_ **

**Tuesday 5:54 PM**

 

**MichelleJones:** Ned, I have to kill him.

  
  


**NedLeeds:** What why

  
  


**MichelleJones:** I don’t know how to flirt with him. Therefore, he must die.

 

**MichelleJones:** He doesn’t seem to understand flirting? How does he have a high IQ if he can’t understand flirting?

  
  


**NedLeeds:** I tried flirting with him 2 years ago and gave up after 3 attempts because he was so stupid

 

**NedLeeds:** Then again I’m also really bad at telling when someone is into me so

 

**NedLeeds:** Has anyone ever been into me???????

  
  


**MichelleJones:** I’m right here, dumbass. I don’t even know why I’m into you.

 

**MichelleJones:** Men are stupid. How have they lived this long?

 

**MichelleJones:** I was born too smart, too powerful. That’s why I’m a woman now.

  
  


**NedLeeds:** You’re only 16 you’re still a girl

  
  


**MichelleJones:** I’m out of fun sounding threats for the day so you’re off the hook.

  
  


**NedLeeds:** Wait are we talking about it now

  
  


**MichelleJones:** Talking about what?

  
  


**NedLeeds:** The journal

  
  


**MichelleJones:** Peter is still over. Give me an hour until he’s gotten his fix of my cat and then we’ll talk.

 

**MichelleJones:** It feels weird talking about it when he’s in front of my with his face in Bandit’s fluff.

  
  


**NedLeeds:** Please send a picture I beg of you he only sent a selfie of him holding Bandit earlier

  
  


**_MichelleJones has attached a file: why does he look like this.png_ **

  
  


**NedLeeds:** Oh my god we’re both in so deep

  
  


**MichelleJones:** Tell me about it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i rewatched the Unraveled episode where brian david gilbert ranked bowser's military hierarchy and it somehow made its way into this chapter via piranha plant travel so sorry about that folks
> 
> also every time someone comments on this fic my heart grows 3 sizes bigger and i love hearing from you guys <3 thank you <3


	3. stabbings and coming out

**_MichelleJones > NedLeeds_ **

**Tuesday 7:43 PM**

 

**MichelleJones:** I’m going to call you in a couple of minutes.

 

**MichelleJones:** Pick up.

  
  


**NedLeeds:** Oaky Doke

  
  


**MichelleJones:** That… is just not at all correct.

 

**MichelleJones:** Give me a minute.

  
  
  


**Tuesday 7:47 PM**

 

**_[Incoming Call from: MichelleJones]_ **

 

**N:** _ “Hey.” _

  
  


**M:** _ “God, you’re so interesting to talk to, truly.” _

  
  


**N:** _ “We haven’t even been on the phone thirty seconds and already I’m being insulted!” _

  
  


**M:** _ “Fine, sorry.” _

 

**M:** _ “Okay so, let’s get this thing straight. We both like each other?” _

  
  


**N:** _ “Yeah…” _

  
  


**M:** _ “And we both also like Peter, yeah?” _

  
  


**N:** _ “Is this kind of thing even allowed? Like, what do we even do in this situation?” _

  
  


**M:** _ “Dude, you didn’t even answer my cool dramatic question.” _

 

**M:** _ “But, yeah, it’s allowed. You ever heard of the term polyamorous?” _

  
  


**N:** _ “No? What is that, some kind of newly discovered triangle?” _

  
  


**M:** _ “The literal term is that it’s an intimate relationship between more than two people with the consent of all of the people involved.” _

 

**M:** _ “It’s basically just when you date more than one person and everyone in the relationship is okay with it.” _

  
  


**N:** _ “I…” _

 

**N:** _ “I didn’t know you could do that.” _

 

**N:** _ “So, it’s okay for me to want to date you AND Peter?” _

  
  


**M:** _ “Yeah, it’s more than okay, Ned.” _

 

**M:** _ “The thing is now, what do we want to do? Like, are we gonna tell Peter, are we gonna just leave him to figure it out, what are we doing?” _

  
  


**N:** _ “Hi, Michelle, I don’t know if you’re aware, but fifty-percent of my cells are vibrating with anxiety at the thought of telling Peter that I have a crush on him.” _

 

**N:** _ “He doesn’t even know I’m… queer, yet. I don’t even know what I am yet, honestly.” _

  
  


**M:** _ “Okay, well, I was planning on taking my weird crush for you two to my fucking grave but that plan went to shit the moment you read my journal entry.” _ _  
  
_

**M:** _ “So, I definitely need a little more time to, like, take everything in. I didn’t think I’d ever get this far.” _

  
  


**N:** _ “Okay.” _

 

**N:** _ “Plan is, we take a bit of time to soak all the crazy in and possibly hang out more often to try and figure this out?” _

  
  


**M:** _“Sounds about right.”_

  
  


**N:** _ “Alright.” _

  
  
  


**_Bandit Support Triangle_ **

**Wednesday 6:48 AM**

 

**parkour:** IM UP

 

**parkour:** GUYS I FELL ASLEEP SO EARLY LAST NIGHT

 

**parkour:** LIKE…. 12 EARLY

  
  


**Magpie:** You count falling asleep at midnight as falling asleep early?

  
  


**parkour:** im normally asleep by 2 you know this

  
  


**Magpie:** Unfortunately. 

  
  


**CodeNed:** Dude you need more sleep than the average person though

  
  


**parkour:** shit do i????

  
  


**CodeNed:** I mean I assume so

 

**CodeNed:** You have super strength and have to eat more than the average person so you most likely need more sleep

  
  


**parkour:** well

 

**parkour:** fuck

  
  


**Magpie:** You aren’t going to change anything about your sleep schedule, are you?

  
  


**parkour:** lmao nope

 

**parkour:** ill live somehow

  
  


**Magpie:** You are a disaster.

  
  


**CodeNed:** RIP Peter Parker he isnt dead hes just really dumb and will probably be dead sooner or later

  
  


**parkour:** you two suck

  
  
  


**Wednesday 10:34 AM**

 

**CodeNed:** Class is so boring

 

**CodeNed:** How easy do you think it would be for me to sneak my laptop out in class and continue working on programming my homework checker

  
  


**parkour:** which class are you in right now i forget

  
  


**CodeNed:** Mrs. Kitchnell

  
  


**Magpie:** Go for it. I paint my nails during her class. 

 

**Magpie:** She’s so old that she’d only notice something if it made a huge bang.

  
  


**parkour:** how has no one tattled on you for doing your nails

  
  


**Magpie:** You think people would tattle on the scary girl?

  
  


**parkour:** fair point

  
  


**Magpie:** Wait, Ned, I haven’t heard much about your project. I’m in detention at lunch so text me about it then.

  
  


**CodeNed:** Heck yeah

 

**CodeNed:** Wait why do you have detention

  
  


**parkour:** she talked back to our teacher in first period because he said something stupid i cant remember what

  
  


**Magpie:** He said something vaguely racist and I called him out on it.

 

**Magpie:** He wasn’t very happy about that.

 

**Magpie:** He doesn’t even stay in the room for detention. He’s pretty fucking dumb.

  
  


**parkour:** teach is looking gotta go

  
  


**CodeNed:** Get that education

 

**CodeNed:** I already know all the stuff Mrs. Kitchnell is saying so I’m gonna start finishing up this code

  
  
  


**Wednesday 3:56**

 

**parkour:** Suns out, guns out.

  
  


**Magpie:** Did you actually just make Karen send that?

  
  


**parkour:** Of course he did.

  
  


**CodeNed:** Oh my god Karen is talking to us now

 

**CodeNed:** Can you give Karen permission to text us without using your words

  
  


**parkour:** He said sure. Hello, Ned. Hello, MJ.

  
  


**Magpie:** Hey there, AI lady Karen. 

  
  


**parkour:** I am not a lady for I am an Artificial Intelligence and have no gender.

 

**parkour:** But you may continue to refer to me as such if you wish. It does me no harm. :)

  
  


**Magpie:** Holy shit, computers are agender.

  
  


**parkour:** I suppose so.

  
  


**CodeNed:** Karen are you allowed to send us any embarrassing videos

  
  


**_parkour has attached a file: 07006105682.mp4_ **

  
  


**Magpie:** Oh… my god.

 

**Magpie:** THIS BITCH ACTUALLY SLIPPED ON A BANANA PEEL.

  
  


**CodeNed:** I THOUGHT THAT ONLY HAPPENED IN CARTOONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  
  


**Magpie:** Karen, please marry me.

  
  


**parkour:** hey!!! we already got platonically married!!! you cant marry someone else!!!

  
  


**Magpie:** Polyamory exists.

  
  


**parkour:** oh shit you right

 

**parkour:** but shes MY AI and i say you cant marry her

  
  


**Magpie:** This is homophobia.

  
  


**parkour:** HEY WAIT THATS MY THING

  
  


**CodeNed:** Homophobic

  
  


**parkour:** bro you cant say that  ((((；゜Д゜))) (im big jokester this isnt serious im lov u)

  
  


**Magpie:** What the fuck is that weaboo looking face doing here?

  
  


**CodeNed:** Yea I can!! I don’t know what I am exactly???

 

**CodeNed:** But I’m not straight??

 

**CodeNed:** So I think I can use the gay memes now right????

  
  


**parkour:** OH MY GOD

 

**parkour:** YOU SURE CAN OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!

 

**parkour:** IM SO EXCITED THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE

  
  


**Magpie:** Stark made you a multi-million dollar superhero onesie that you are currently wearing and your friend coming out of the closet is the best day of your life?

  
  


**parkour:** YES

 

**parkour:** wait ned do you want me to keep this calm and not a big deal or is it okay for me to make it a big deal

  
  


**CodeNed:** I’m not about to take away your right to freak out over this dude I know what you’re like

 

**CodeNed:** Go crazy go stupid

  
  


**parkour:** IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

**parkour:** I FEEL LIKE A PROUD PAPA

  
  


**Magpie:** That's totally not weird as hell or anything.

 

**Magpie:** Proud of you, though, Ned.

  
  


**CodeNed:** !!!!!!!! Can we not like

 

**CodeNed:** Tell anyone else yet though

 

**CodeNed:**  I kinda wanna figure more of it out before I go out flags a blazing like you guys

  
  


**Magpie:** You think I go out flags a blazing? Hilarious.

  
  


**CodeNed:** You answer when people ask which is close enough in my mind I guess

  
  


**parkour:** i shall keep this quiet

 

**parkour:** like silent spider

  
  


**Magpie:** You’re a loud spider.

  
  


**parkour:** not right now im not!!!!!!!!!!

  
  


**Magpie:** You just swung over the road I was on whilst yelling.

  
  


**parkour:** you got me there

 

**parkour:** insert that one pic of the guy from catfish here

 

**parkour:** im too lazy to go find it

  
  


**CodeNed:** That sounds enough like you

  
  


**parkour:** hurtful

  
  
  


**Thursday 2:53 AM**

 

**parkour:** are lobsters mermaids to scorpions

  
  


**CodeNed:** hm I'm going back to sleep

  
  


**Magpie:** Shut the fuck up please for once in your life just shut your god damn mouth I beg of you

  
  


**parkour:** oh god i woke michelle again

 

**parkour:** mj you really gotta mute your phone at night

  
  


**Magpie:** I keep it on for emergencies. I’m starting to have regrets.

 

**Magpie:** God forbid you keep your ringer on overnight in case your dumb idiot friend gets mortally wounded for the thousandth time.

  
  


**parkour:** haha speaking of

  
  


**Magpie:** Don’t you fucking dare tell me you’re hurt.

  
  


**parkour:** ok

  
  


**Magpie:** FUCK.

  
  
  


**_PeterParker > MichelleJones_ **

**Thursday 3:02 AM**

 

 **PeterParker:** THEORETICALLY who would one contact first if they got stabbed but they still have the knife

  
  


**MichelleJones:** YOU FUCKING WHAT

  
  


**PeterParker:** THEORETICALLY

 

**PeterParker:** wait never mind i am boo boo the fool karen already called mr. stark

 

**PeterParker:** disregard these messages

  
  


**MichelleJones:** YOU HAVE A KNIFE CURRENTLY IN YOUR BODY

  
  


**PeterParker:** maybe so

 

**PeterParker:** i mean this has happened before but it was only a small pocket knife last time

 

**PeterParker:** this knife is maybe bigger than that? do you wanna see it

  
  


**MichelleJones:** I DON’T WANT TO KNOW HOW BIG THE KNIFE IS AND I DON’T WANT TO SEE IT

  
  


**PeterParker:** i probably get to keep it since its inside me now so i can just send you a pic of it after it is removed

  
  


**MichelleJones:** DO NOT

  
  


**PeterParker:** mr. stark is almost here i can hear him gotta go

  
  


**MichelleJones:** PLEASE RECEIVE MEDICAL ATTENTION

 

**MichelleJones:** IF I SEE YOUR ASS AT SCHOOL TOMORROW YOU ARE FUCKING DEAD

  
  
  


**_Bandit Support Group_ **

**Thursday 10:26 AM**

 

**parkour:** whats up bitchatchos

 

**parkour:** my shoulder lives on to see another day

  
  


**Magpie:** You’re damn lucky that you’re cute because you’re so fucking stupid.

  
  


**parkour:** you think im cute??? :3c

  
  


**Magpie:** Bitch, shut the fuck up and put the UWU face away, that ain’t the damn point.

 

**Magpie:** Are you home now?

  
  


**parkour:** yea

 

**parkour:** mr. stark gave me some parts for a thing im doing so im tinkering in my room

 

**parkour:** im not allowed to move my shoulder too much though

 

**parkour:** despite the fact that i know itll be healed by tomorrow morning

  
  


**CodeNed:** What

 

**CodeNed:** I’m in class now but I’m coming over after school so you can explain to me exactly what the frick you’re talking about

  
  


**parkour:** oh the spare parts?

  
  


**CodeNed:** (B)eter no

  
  


**Magpie:** What the fuck?

  
  


**CodeNed:** (B)eter?

  
  


**Magpie:** Yeah.

  
  


**CodeNed:** (B)

  
  


**Magpie:** No.

  
  


**CodeNed:** Peter can you paste a fancy smiley face for me to borrow

  
  


**parkour:** kawaii or sobbing

  
  


**CodeNed:** Kawaii please

  
  


**parkour:** (｡•́︿•̀｡)

 

**parkour:** i gotchu bro

  
  


**CodeNed:** (｡•́︿•̀｡)

 

**CodeNed:** Thanks bro

 

**CodeNed:** You’re the light of my life bro

  
  


**parkour:** ,,bro,,,,,

  
  


**Magpie:** Ned, you’re still in class.

 

**Magpie:** Peter, stop blowing up my phone.

  
  


**parkour:** (｡•́︿•̀｡)

  
  
  


**Thursday 12:26 PM**

 

**CodeNed:** YOU GOT STABBED?????????????

 

**CodeNed:** AND KEPT THE KNIFE?????????

  
  


**parkour:** ya

 

**parkour:** do you want a picture of it

  
  


**Magpie:** NO.

  
  


**parkour:** gfjhdfjkfgh okay fine

  
  
  


**Thursday 4:12 PM**

 

**parkour:** have i missed anything important

 

**parkour:** i dont have google classroom notifications on and im not about to turn them on now

  
  


**Magpie:** How…

  
  


**parkour:** theyre annoying

  
  


**Magpie:** You have that in common.

 

**Magpie:** No, I don’t think you missed anything major.

  
  


**CodeNed:** Nope!!!!

 

**CodeNed:** Shared classes were pretty uneventful dude

  
  


**parkour:** dope

 

**parkour:** thanks

  
  
  


**_PeterParker > MichelleJones_ **

**Thursday 9:41 PM**

 

**PeterParker:** do you have spray paint?

  
  


**MichelleJones:** Why?

  
  


**PeterParker:** im doing a mini project and wanna paint the plastic casing so it looks cooler

 

**PeterParker:** i have a couple tubes of acrylic paint for details and stuff but spray paint works better with the sealant i have

  
  


**MichelleJones:** Yeah, okay.

 

**MichelleJones:** When your shoulder heals up (FULLY) you can swing over and borrow a colour or two.

  
  


**parkour:** youre a lifesaver!!!!

 

**parkour:** my empty wallet thanks you!!!!!

  
  


**Magpie:** No problem, dork.

  
  
  


**_MichelleJones > NedLeeds_ **

**Thursday 9:53 PM**

 

**_MichelleJones has attached a file:_ ** [ **_when parker is fucking cute.png_ ** ](https://images.app.goo.gl/HuEP86N6wmk7qnY76)

  
  


**NedLeeds:** Oh MOOD

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the support i get on this series has me in tears y’all
> 
> y’all are the coolest <3
> 
> also!! i got a marvel tumblr! follow me @youngdemiurge if you’d like :)


	4. games and boys

**_Bandit Support Triangle_ **

**Friday 12:45 AM**

 

 **parkour:** man i kinda miss being on the acadec team

 

 **parkour:** i wish i hadnt quit

  


**Magpie:** You’re allowed to come back at any time, though?

  


**parkour:** id rather not

 

 **parkour:** as much as i wanna i dont wanna have to deal with flash being an asshole about it

 

 **parkour:** plus i made acadec day my patrol day and it feels wrong cancelling that just for a school team

  


**Magpie:** So, what? You’re not allowed to have fun?

 

 **Magpie:** Spider-Man isn’t allowed to have fun?

  


**parkour:** well

  


**Magpie:** Nope. I’ll tell Flash that if he makes even one intentionally harmful comment towards you then he’s off the team.

 

 **Magpie:** It annoys everyone else on the team.

 

 **Magpie:** So if I don’t see you in the decathlon room after school I will murder you.

  


**parkour:** ive been served

  


**Magpie:** I’m not a lawyer.

 

 **Magpie:** But, yes. You’ve been served.

  


**parkour:** curses!!

  
  


**Friday 4:44 AM**

 

 **CodeNed:** IT HAS BEEN DONE

 

 **CodeNed:** I HAVE DONE IT

  


**_CodeNed has attached a file: codened has coded.png_ **

  


**CodeNed:** MY BABY IS FINALLY HERE

 

 **CodeNed:** Oh wait you guys are asleep

 

 **CodeNed:** I didn't realize what time it was

  
  


**Friday 6:48 AM**

 

 **parkour:** OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **parkour:** DUDE!!!!!!!!! MY GUY!!!!!!

  


**CodeNed:** Yeah!!!!!

 

 **CodeNed:** I finished all the testing last night during my work binge

 

 **CodeNed:** She works beautifully

 

 **CodeNed:** She’s my daughter

  


**parkour:** i was gonna say thats weird but i remembered that i call everything i build my child so never mind

 

 **parkour:** but HELL YEAH!!!!!! gimme a run down my dude

  


**CodeNed:** Input the topic or subject of the homework, then paste the homework you already completed into the program and it will search the web for reliable sources (which it double checks!!!! it will make 100% sure that the source is good) and tell you if your answers are right or not before you hand it in

  


**parkour:** FUCK YEAH

 

 **parkour:** and that technically isnt even cheating oh my god youre a genius

  


**CodeNed:** I know!!!!!!!!!

 

 **CodeNed:** I’ll email the files to you and MJ and then I’m gonna see how much I can make off of selling the program

  


**Magpie:** We STAN a coding legend. 

  


**CodeNed:** :3

  


**Magpie:** Never mind.

  


**CodeNed:** >:3c

  


**parkour:** im so fucking proud of you

 

 **parkour:** •3•

  


**Magpie:** DON’T MISUSE BULLETS LIKE THAT.

  
  


**_PeterParker > NedLeeds_ **

**Friday 10:12 AM**

 

 **PeterParker:** stop doing that now

  


**NedLeeds:**????

 

 **NedLeeds:**? I’m not doing anything though

  


**PeterParker:** oh

 

 **PeterParker:** never mind sorry

  


**NedLeeds:**????? Ominous

  
  
  


**_NedLeeds > MichelleJones_ **

**Friday 10:15 AM**

 

 **NedLeeds:** He confuses me

  


**MichelleJones:** Yup.

  
  


**_Bandit Support Triangle_ **

**Friday 12:10 PM**

 

 **CodeNed:** Are you guys in the caf already?????

  


**parkour:**  i am

 

 **parkour:** the hallway was really crowded so i couldnt make it to our designated meeting spot

 

 **parkour:** sorry

  


**CodeNed:** Nah you’re good

 

 **CodeNed:** I’m on my way over

 

 **CodeNed:** _@Magpie_ where are you

  


**Magpie:** Cant make it dont worry about me

  


**CodeNed:** That just activated all my worries!!!!!!!!!

  


**parkour:** is this a scale situation?

  


**Magpie:** 8

  


**CodeNed:** I’ll wait in the library instead then

  


**parkour:** on my way

  
  


**_PeterParker > MichelleJones_ **

**Friday 12:17 PM**

 

 **PeterParker:** where are you

  


**MichelleJones:** Room 224

 

 **MichelleJones:** Dysphoria sucks so fucking much and I hate that it immobilizes me to this point

 

 **MichelleJones:** I’m not anxiety attack bad but I think I’m getting there?

  


**PeterParker:** im almost there

  
  


**_MichelleJones > PeterParker_ **

**Friday 3:09 PM**

 

 **MichelleJones:** You can grab the spray paint after decathlon.

  


**PeterParker:** okay

 

 **PeterParker:** wait are you actually gonna drag me there

  


**MichelleJones:** Look at the window in your classroom door.

  


**PeterParker:** son of a bitch

 

 **PeterParker:** youre supposed to be in class theres fuckin ten whole minutes left of class

  


**MichelleJones:** Gross.

  
  


**_Bandit Support Triangle_ **

**Saturday 4:53 AM**

 

 **parkour:** it has been DONE

 

 **parkour:** my baby is HERE and he is BEAUTIFUL

 

 **parkour:** my sweet baby boy

 

 **parkour:** sweet baby gameboy baby boy yes

  


**Magpie:** Peter, for the love of god, please go to sleep.

 

 **Magpie:** You can talk about your cool project in a couple of hours. You haven’t slept yet.

  


**parkour:** what how do you know that

  


**Magpie:** You just said “sweet baby gameboy baby boy yes” and those are not the words of a man who has slept recently.

  


**parkour:** true

  
  


**_Bandit Support Triangle_ **

**Saturday 11:06 AM**

 

 **parkour:** it has been DONE

 

 **parkour:** my baby is HERE and he is BEAUTIFUL

  


**CodeNed:** Dude what

 

 **CodeNed:** share Now

  


**_parkour has attached a file: babyboybabyhim.png_ **

  


**parkour:** I REMODELED A GAMEBOY

  


**CodeNed:** bro WHAT

 

 **CodeNed:** REMODELED?? YOU GAVE IT PLASTIC SURGERY

 

 **CodeNed:** Its like two times bigger???? and yet the screen hasnt stretched?? whaaaat???

  


**parkour:** i have learned so much in the past week working on this than i have in all my years of school

  


**Magpie:** Fair enough.

 

 **Magpie:** Also, that looks sick. The paint job is clean. 

  


**parkour:** thank you!!!! i was really scared i’d screw up on the paint too many times and have to either find a way to get the paint off of the casing or have to make a new casing

 

 **parkour:** and let me tell you

 

 **parkour:** i’d rather get stabbed in the shoulder again than make a new casing

  


**Magpie:** First of all, absolutely not.

 

 **Magpie:** Second of all, don’t people sell casings and stuff on Etsy?

  
  
  
**parkour:** they do and its super cool BUT the point of this project was i wanted to do everything myself and i changed the shape of the device so there arent any casings that would fit

 

 **parkour:** which means my room stinks

 

 **parkour:** bc of the plastic

 

 **parkour:** ANYWAYS IM SUPER PROUD OF THIS LITTLE GUY BECAUSE IT WAS JUST SUPPOSED TO BE A SMALL UPGRADE BUT INSTEAD IT BECAME A BIG PROJECT

 

 **parkour:** obviously its backlit and i made the screen bigger BUT i did some tinkering and managed to fit an usb flash drive reader in it and got them compatible so now i can download ROM hacks onto the drive and put it in the gameboy and pick what i wanna play

 

 **parkour:** i had to do some coding but you guys know im not that great at it yet so its probably gonna be buggy at some things but otherwise i love it and im very proud of myself

  


**Magpie:** Nice, dude. That’s super neat. Proud of you.

  


**parkour:**!!!!!!!!

 

 **parkour:** youre not gonna laugh at me for being a nerd?

  


**Magpie:** No? You’re genuinely really proud of yourself for doing something new and it worked out. I’m not going to pick at you for that.

  


**parkour:** oh

 

 **parkour:** :’) <3

  


**CodeNed:** Im sorry im still making heart eyes at the picture

 

 **CodeNed:** Want me to take a look at the coding at some point to make sure its all looking good??

  


**parkour:** YES PLEASE!!!!!

 

 **parkour:** i trust ur code more than i trust mine

  


**CodeNed:** They dont call me Code Ned for nothing

  


**Magpie:** “They” don’t call you Code Ned at all.

  


**CodeNed:**...well now I’m sad

  
  


**_NedLeeds > MichelleJones_ **

**Saturday 11:29 AM**

 

 **NedLeeds:** I hate him

 

 **NedLeeds:** Hes super adorable when hes excited

  


**MichelleJones:** Like a puppy.

  


**NedLeeds:** LIKE A PUPPY

 

 **NedLeeds:** Puppy Parker

  


**MichelleJones:** You’re right and you should say it but I still hate you for it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay look... i know its been months... and im sorry...
> 
> and also i dont know when the next update will be... im sorry
> 
> just remember that im writing this for fun, okay? sometimes i lose the will to write and i just stop :( i'll try my best to finish this fic up before i lose the will to finish it!
> 
> but seeing you guys still supporting the fic makes me really happy and im glad that y'all are enjoying it :')


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